Chapter 32
(Laura's POV)

Okay, so I admit that the situation I 'had to discuss' with Bill was nothing but an excuse to drop by --and a pretty flimsy one at that-- that the truth is that I was curious about how his encounter with Lieutenant Thrace had gone... especially because when I talked to him he was being annoyingly vague.

"So, how did it go?" I ask when it becomes apparent that he is not going to volunteer any additional information.

"She is a mess." he says, not even trying to pretend that he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "I knew things were going to be hard but I never really expected them to... as for your idea that I should try giving her a hug, well, I have to say that the jury is still out on that one."

"What happened?"

"She panicked. Oh, she did her best to hide it but I know her and..."

"That was to be expected," I remind him.

"She looked like she was expecting me to beat the crap out of her... hell, she looked almost as if she would have preferred it."

"And she probably would have," I say, knowing that he is not going to like it.

"What?!"

"At least that would have been familiar to her and she would have known how to deal with it but when you hugged her you took away her entire frame of reference and that must have been scary for her. As far as she is concerned violence is safe."

"That's crazy!"

"You hugging her? From where she stands that is the unknown at best and the bait for a trap at worst. That is what I've been trying to tell you all along. That is also the part you are going to have to understand if you ever want to get through to her. I know you are not going to hurt her --and deep down she probably knows it too-- but you are still asking her to let her guard down, to turn her back on a lifetime of experience... and that is not going to happen overnight. You took the first step by setting a precedent and that is the important thing here. Now you can build on that but you can't really expect a single hug to make it all better so you are just going to have to be patient."

"In other words you are telling me to keep at it?"

"Yes, but maybe now that the first step has been taken you can proceed in a less 'dramatic' fashion."

"What do you mean?"

"You can rub her back, hold her hand, pat her shoulder... the list goes on. You don't have to make a big deal out of those displays of affection as long as you make them a part of your normal interaction with her. Hopefully in time she will learn to accept those little touches as something normal and non-threatening."

"Do you realize just how absurd this whole thing sounds?" he asks, shaking his head in obvious disbelief.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean it's not necessary. Besides, you've told me that Lieutenant Thrace is like a daughter to you. I realize that the idea of having to teach a grown woman how to accept even the most basic displays of affection may seem a little odd but at the same time I'm not suggesting that you do anything you wouldn't do on a regular basis if she were your daughter."

"Maybe not but if she were my daughter she would have no reason to be afraid," he reminds me.

"I realize that but you can't change her past no matter what you do and the bottom line is that that past will always define her to a large extent. That doesn't mean that there is nothing you can do to try to help her... and it certainly doesn't mean that you should just give up."

"Are you giving me a pep-talk now?"

"Depends, is it working?"

"I don't know if I can do this."

"I understand that but I'm afraid it's a little late for you to back down. You are a military man and you want an enemy you can defeat. I understand that but that's not the way this works so you are going to have to approach this whole thing from a different perspective. This is a battle, yes, but at the same time this is not an enemy you have to beat, quite the contrary... in a way it is an enemy you have to embrace."

"Are you done with the lame puns? This isn't a joke," he growls before going on. "Besides, Kara is not my enemy... now if only I could get my hands on her mother..."

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself," I say, trying hard not to smile at his reaction. "All I'm saying is that while you can see this as a war and you may even be tempted to develop a strategy to deal with it, this particular battle will require a different approach... one that goes against your military ways."

"And that's the problem. I am a soldier and that is not something that comes with an on/off switch."

"I know, and believe me, I'm not asking you to turn into someone you are not. That old soldier is precisely the one who, against all odds, managed to earn Lieutenant Thrace's trust in the first place and he did that by being there for her without pushing her... now you just have to build on that to start nudging her in the right direction, that's all."

"'That's all'?" he repeats, rather sarcastically.

"I never said that this was going to be easy. In fact I warned you that it was going to be very, very hard," I remind him. "As I told you a couple of days ago, when I was a teacher I had to force myself to stay out of situations like this precisely because a year was nowhere near long enough to reach the children... and trying to reach a child is a lot easier than trying to reach an adult. Now, the good news is that you are not starting from zero here so you probably won't need anywhere near that long because she already trusts you and that is the most important thing. That means that you are just going to have to make some adjustments rather than start from scratch."

"Yes, but..."

"You can't back down now," I interrupt him.

"I know, but..." he trails off.

"But this is not something you signed up for?"

"Something like that. Let's just say that how to hug your subordinates is not something they teach you at war college and leave it at that."

"I know but I'm afraid that the military code of conduct that was drilled into you back then went out the airlock when the Twelve Colonies were destroyed and there's nothing you can do about it. I hadn't wanted to bring this up but I think we both know that some changes are going to be necessary in that regard."

"Changes?" he asks, sounding more than a little suspicious at that.

"Yes, to begin with there's the fact that, as they stand, the frat regs are woefully inappropriate given the current state of mankind and sooner or later we are going to have to acknowledge that fact. Right now the people stuck in the same ship with us are the closest thing most of us have to a family and the Galactica is no exception in that regard, nowhere near it. The rest of us are just stuck with our shipmates but here your people must literally rely on each other to survive. Besides, even though those under your command are willing to lay down their lives for the rest of the fleet, that doesn't give us the right to ask them to stop living in the process. I know that acknowledging that things have changed and that we have no choice but to change with them is bound to be painful but come on, Bill, you still have your people filing all the necessary reports in triplicate with one copy of every document intended for the fleet's headquarters as if those headquarters were still standing! You have to admit that, given that our supply of paper is limited and that no one will be transferred anyway because there are no other battlestars left, keeping on top of all that paperwork probably shouldn't rate as a top priority, to say nothing of the fact that there are probably better things those under your command could be doing with their time."

"Okay, I'll give you that but... there's going to be a lot more to this than just the paperwork or even the frat regulations though, isn't there?" he asks, growing suddenly serious.

"Nothing I haven't mentioned before," I reply, not wanting this conversation to get sidetracked but knowing that this is an argument we are going to have no choice but to have sooner or later.