Chapter 24
(Adama's POV)

I'm going over Helo's words in my mind and it doesn't take me long to realize that they provide me with the one thing I had been missing up until now: a clear definition of just what it is that I want to accomplish here. Sure, I've had a general idea of what it was that I wanted to do almost from the beginning and Laura had even given me a number of valid pointers when it came to turning those ideas into a concrete plan but I really didn't know how to translate my goals into words.

I knew I wanted to understand, of course, but that seemed too selfish --something that was more for my benefit than for Kara's-- I knew I wanted her to open up and trust me but that felt like a step along the way rather than a destination, but now things are finally starting to take shape and all that's left for me to do is to fill in the blanks. The next step has to be to get Lee and Helo on board but at the same time I'm not sure I'm ready to reveal my hand to them, not yet.

"The first thing we have to do is to get past the awkwardness, there's no question about that and no way we are going to get anywhere with her until we do," I say, turning my attention back to the young men in my quarters.

"That's not going to be easy," Lee points out, stating the obvious.

"No, it's not but as long as we accept that our discomfort is our problem I think we do stand a chance."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we have to keep in mind that regardless of how hard the news may have hit us, it's news only to us. Kara has known about this all along and one way or another she has made her peace with it. If we want her to be okay with the idea of us knowing about this then the first thing we have to do is to accept that. I suspect that from where she is standing the worst thing we could do right now would be to start treating her differently, treating her as if she were damaged or broken. We may want to keep her safe but she is still Starbuck and the bottom line is that Starbuck doesn't need or want our protection."

"So you want us to act as if nothing had changed, to pretend that we are not upset by this at all?"

"No. We are still talking about Starbuck here and if we were to do that she would see right through us," I warn him. "What I want us to do is something far more basic than that. I want us to show her that the fact that we know doesn't change how we feel about her, that we don't pity her or think any less of her as a result, but at the same time I think we have to be willing to acknowledge that this thing is out in the open now. That means that one way or another we have to keep this from becoming the elephant in the room without smothering her in the process."

"And how are we supposed to do that?" asks Lee.

"By being there for her, by not trying to pretend that this doesn't bother us... by openly asking questions if we have them but not pushing for answers if she is not ready to provide them," jumps in Helo before I can say anything.

"Exactly... at least in the short term," I agree, relieved to see that he is willing to be rational about this. My son is the one that seems to be having a hard time moving past his shock and, even though that is not entirely unexpected, it could still turn out to be a problem.

"And in the long term?" Lee insists, obviously still needing more of an answer and confirming some of my fears in the process.

"I'm not sure," I lie, knowing that even though I do have a long term plan in mind, it is one I am going to have to implement myself... especially because, as things currently stand, Lee's good intentions could easily end up doing a lot of damage here. He wants to fix this and he wants to fix it now but the problem is that there can be no fixing it in the first place... to say nothing of the fact that even dealing with it is bound to take time and that we can't afford to end up trying to fulfill each other's roles.

"But you do have an idea," he remarks, not even bothering to phrase his statement as a question.

"Nothing concrete. I think we should take this one step at a time and right now our top priority should probably be to try to set Kara's mind at ease. That is the first thing we have to tackle and from where we stand it would be impossible for us to try to predict where the pieces will fall after that."

"So what you are saying is that we should just go back to being her friends and being there for her... and that if we do, everything else will hopefully fall into place?" asks Lee.

"No. This is not likely to be anywhere near that simple. What I'm saying is that if we want her to trust us the worst thing we could do would be to treat her differently because that would confirm her worst fears and cause her to shore up her defenses. That's the last thing we need."

"To say nothing of the fact that bluffing our way out of this is not an option because that would be kind of like trying to beat her at the triad table?"

"I'm afraid so," I agree, somewhat amused by the analogy, though there is no denying that it is a valid one.

"In other words: this would be so much easier if Kara weren't so damned stubborn but then again if Kara weren't so damned stubborn chances are that we wouldn't even have to worry about doing this in the first place so we are just going to have to deal with it as best we can?" asks Lee, accurately summing up the situation.

"Unless we want to push her away. Whether we like it or not things have already changed and we can't go back to the way they used to be. That means we have to choose a path here. We could choose the easy way out but that would mean running the risk of alienating Kara for good or we could choose to do things the hard way and hope that we make it past this whole mess somehow but if we want to do that we are going to have to take the initiative."

"So the bottom line is that one way or another we are going to find ourselves going up against Starbuck and we can pretty much expect her to throw everything she's got at us?"

"Something like that," I admit. "The thing we have to remember is that she never meant for us to find out about any of this, that this came out almost by accident and that in a way the revelation was as unexpected for her as it was for us. Now, I'm not denying that getting these secrets out in the open could turn out to be a good thing in the long run but she is not likely to be ready to see it that way any time soon so even getting her to that point will probably take some doing."

A few minutes after that Lee and Helo leave. I have to admit that we made some progress here today and that is definitely a good thing. If nothing else at least I know that now we are all on the same page and this little encounter also enabled us to get a better idea of what our next step should be but that doesn't change the fact that right now I am deeply relieved to find myself alone. That means that I finally have a chance to at least try to figure out what is it going to take for me to teach my 'daughter' how to do something other than fight.