Chapter 23
(Lee's POV)

As I approach my father's quarters I see Helo coming from the opposite direction and I barely manage to keep myself from cursing under my breath. I knew he was going to be here, of course --after all, I was the one that told him that the old man wanted to see us after our shifts-- but I also wanted to have at least a couple of minutes to talk this over privately with my father before he got here.

The truth is that this last shift was anything but easy for me. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't stop thinking about Kara and I'm not sure if the fact that I was stuck doing nothing but paperwork made matters better or worse. Sure, the fact that I was flying a desk meant that the only ones in danger of getting killed as a consequence of my distraction were a couple of pointless reports no one is ever going to read anyway but at the same time... well, let's just say that paperwork has never been one of the most effective things to keep my attention and as a result my mind just kept wandering back to sickbay.

The problem is that no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to reconcile the image of Starbuck with what the doc told us about her past... not to mention that I still want to throttle her for not telling me about it, for not trusting me. She's my best friend, damn it, and I shouldn't have found out like that.

I know that sounds petty but it bothers me.

Even now I have to admit that I am tempted to just go down to sickbay and shake some answers out of her and it is only the certainty that there's no way I'd ever make it past Cottle that's stopping me. Sure, the rational part of my mind knows that getting mad at Kara will get me nowhere here but right now I don't particularly care about rational, I just want to feel like I'm doing something.

Knowing that I can't change the facts I greet Helo and knock on the hatch.

As soon as we are alone my father makes a deliberate gesture out of removing his dog tags and placing them on the table. I follow suit immediately and so does Helo. We all know what that means: this is not official business and rank has no place here... or at least that is the theory. Of course --as I know all too well-- my old man does have a tendency to cast a giant shadow and even though no formal orders are going to be issued here today, both Helo and I will end up doing exactly as we are told, of that I have no doubt.

The thing is that, even though we could all agree to remove our dog tags, that doesn't mean we have a clue as to what it is that we are supposed to say or do next. This is an awkward situation to say the least. We are all waiting for someone else to say something but Helo is not going to do it because,even with the dog tags on the table, it would probably still feel awkward for him to do so and my father is obviously waiting for one of us to make the first move. That means that, unless I say something we are likely to be here until dawn... and there is no such thing as dawn in a battlestar.

"So, any news?" I ask, just to break the silence and get the ball rolling.

"Not really. She's still in sickbay and last time I checked she was getting some rest."

"In other words Cottle still won't let you question her?"

"No, but that could actually turn out to be a good thing."

"How so?" I ask, somewhat taken aback by his acceptance of Cottle's refusal.

"Because before we go asking questions we have to get ourselves some answers. We have to figure out what we already know and then use that as our starting point to come up with some sort of long term strategy."

"So we are tackling this as if it were a battle?"

"You were the one who suggested riot gear in the first place," he reminds me.

"Yes, but..."

"Relax, son. I know she is not the enemy and that is precisely the point."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we need a strategy but if our goal is to help Kara then we have to make sure we don't end up hurting her in our quest for answers... and if we were to go in there half cocked chances are that we would end up doing just that."

"Yes, well, I guess the simple answer to the question of what we know is: not much. I mean, she's my best friend but she never told me anything about this and I know you didn't know about it either."

"No, you are right and I will be the first one to admit that I did not particularly enjoy being blindsided by this whole thing but --as the president reminded me-- we do know Kara and that is the most important thing. After all, we are used to reconstructing a battle based on a lot less evidence than we have here."

"Yes, well, she's stubborn as hell and she can fly circles around pretty much anyone, we know that much, but I don't see how that's going to help us."

"That's Starbuck," dad points out.

"Yes," I reply, not quite knowing what he means.

"I said Kara," he reminds me... not that that is much of an explanation.

"So?"

"So I think that if we want to get anywhere here the first thing we are going to have to do is to look past Starbuck."

"You are saying that Starbuck is just a facade?"

"No, I don't think it's anywhere near that simple. Starbuck is a very big part of who she is --there's no question about that-- but at the same time I think she may also serve as a defense mechanism for the 'real' Kara... and this is about her."

"Well, she is a fighter --we know that-- but maybe we should focus on how she got to be one, sir," says Helo, speaking for the first time.

"Care to explain that, lieutenant?" asks my father, obviously forgetting the no-ranks rule for a moment.

"When we were on Caprica at one point we went back to her place and while we were there she said something. She said that most people were fighting to get back what they had lost but she was just fighting because she didn't know how to do anything else. At the time I didn't give that comment much thought, I had more important things to worry about with the cylons on our tails, but now..."

"But now you think it's something we could use," dad finishes for him and I can almost see the wheels turning.