Chapter 59
(Adama's POV)

'What the frak do you say to something like that?' that is the question that keeps running through my mind, especially because it is pretty apparent that Lee is not going to say anything and Cottle is not the kind to try to offer comfort, not even under the best of circumstances. That means it is up to me but I am feeling a little lost. Oh, there is no denying that to command a battlestar you have to be more than passingly familiar with applied psychology but unfortunately that applied psychology is not of the sort that can be applied to this situation... not without doing a lot of damage. I may be Kara's CO but I am not here as her CO and even though framing it in the context of our military roles would make this easier for me, that's not what she needs.

"It's okay," I say, feeling more than a little ridiculous but not needing --or wanting-- Kara to fill in the blanks. When she doesn't reply I add, "you didn't deserve it."

"But..." she tries to argue but I interrupt her.

"Let's get one thing straight: you were ten and you were just trying to fight back and I'm damned proud of you for trying to stand up for yourself... even if there was no way you could win."

"But if I hadn't..." she insists and I have to fight the urge to shake some sense into her.

"Listen to me. You did not deserve what that bastard did to you and from what you are saying I think it's safe to say that things were already heading in that direction. Yes, by trying to bite him you probably did rush them along --I am not even going to try to deny that-- but that didn't change the final outcome. You may have been unable to see that back when you were ten but surely you can see it now," I say, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look at me. Oh, the rational part of my mind knows that Kara's can be described as an almost textbook response and that getting her to understand that it wasn't her fault is not going to be easy but that doesn't mean I am not going to try.

"it hurt," she whispers, pulling away and looking down at her hands. It is such a simple statement.

"I know," I reply, throwing a quick look at Lee and I am not surprised to see my son looking more than a little green, though he doesn't seem to be inclined to say anything. That means that at least I don't have to worry about him accidentally opening a second front here and that is definitely a good thing. Unfortunately it also means that I can expect no help from him and the truth is that right now I could use some backing.

"So I guess it is safe to say that this tendency of yours to bite more than you can chew is not exactly a new trait?" I ask, hoping that a bit of inappropriate humor will keep Kara from withdrawing further into herself.

"You could say that," she snorts.

"And that went on for almost two years?" I prod, relieved by her reaction and trying to get this conversation back on track.

"Yes. I kept waiting for him to leave. None of my mom's other boyfriends had ever lasted anywhere near that long. They were usually gone in a matter of weeks, some may have lasted as much as a couple of months but then again Jonas..." she trails off.

"Jonas wasn't really there because of your mother, was he?"

"Not really. I mean, he made sure my mom had as much to drink as she wanted, that there was food on the table even when she wasn't working, unlike most of the losers she brought home he never hit her, didn't care if she slept around... as far as she was concerned he was the perfect man for her," she explains and I can help but to see red at that. Oh, I knew Kara's childhood had been far from perfect. I had managed to get my hands on a copy of Socrata Thrace's military file long before the colonies were destroyed and I had watched the video from Kara's questioning of Leoben. I knew what he had told her about her being born to a woman who believed in suffering so she had suffered and I had seen her reaction to that particular statement but I had never really allowed myself to contemplate exactly what it was that Leoben had meant by that.

"Did she know?" I force myself to ask, hoping that she'll understand and feeling almost literally sick at the thought. I may not have been the best of fathers but at least I can honestly say that I tried to keep my children safe.

"I don't know. I never told her but..." she trails off.

"But you suspect she did?" I finish for her, her hesitation having already all but answered my question.

"Yes... maybe. She once warned me that I'd be sorry if he left," she explains, chewing on her lower lip.

"And eventually he did?"

"Yeah. He kind of lost interest in me and took off when I got too old for his liking."

"Too old?" I repeat, wondering what the frak she could possibly mean by that.

"He was really grossed out when I first got my period. He left about a week after that," she explains with a shrug and I can't help but to cringe at the reminder of just how painfully young she was when she was deemed to be 'too old' by that bastard.