My name is Naomi Sandburg and there is something I just have to say: I am tired, utterly fed up with the way I'm treated by fanfiction writers. Now, I'm reasonable enough to admit that it's not all the fanfic writers' fault, in fact I can see that the problem is more the fault of those who actually wrote the show in the first place, but, you see, now that the show's been canceled for over five years and reruns are growing less and less frequent, we the characters have little left to do with our time so more often than not you'll find us surfing the net, looking for ways to go on living and while fanfic writers are great when it comes to giving us another chance, I am anything but pleased with the way in which I find myself portrayed.
Before going any further, let me be the first one to acknowledge the fact that at times production left much to be desired. What can I say, we were working with a shoe-string budget and more often than not it showed... but that's not the problem. The problem has to do with some credibility issues.
I mean, I didn't get to have much screen time --with being featured in only three episodes and so on-- and what little time I did have was at the mercy of a group of writers who just had no idea as to who I really was. In fact except for the common name and face --and the fact that I was consistently Blair's mother-- I could argue that there was little about my character that was constant.
Look at the episodes "Spare Parts" and "Private Eyes" for example. I went from a fairly sensible woman, if maybe a bit eccentric at times, to a really annoying flake who showed up out of nowhere with a psychic in tow. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't believe in psychics, I do, I've seen enough things I cannot explain to have learned to believe the evidence presented by my own eyes even when it's not accompanied by long and convoluted explanations, thank you very much... in fact, in spite of Blair's pseudo-scientific explanations about genetics and such, it wouldn't take too much for me to add Jim to that list. No, my problem is not that I don't believe in psychics, and I do accept the fact that Charlie had the gift --not a hard thing to do, mind you, when good guys and bad guys come from the same writer's imagination-- but I must confess there were times when I was tempted to strangle him with his own tongue just hoping that maybe that would shut him up. I would never go out with such an arrogant... but of course the writers had me totally dazzled by his engaging personality... as to what engaging personality they meant your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, the point is that that was my brief and I had no choice but to play along. That's what we fictional characters are supposed to do when our writers command us to do something... even if it makes no sense. And yes I know I'm supposed to be all peace loving and threatening to strangle someone with his own tongue is not something the writers would ever have allowed me to get away with, but even I have my limits.
The thing is that in the span of ten episodes, and in fact in only two appearances, I went from a sensible woman who could stand up for herself and her son, who could think on her feet and refused to allow herself to be bullied by either crooks or overgrown police captains, to being an airhead who never quite grew up, an egomaniac psychic's groupie who was totally oblivious to everything that was going on around her... but of course that's nothing compared to what they made me do later.
Yes, I'm talking about that infamous dissertation mess I was so nicely credited with. I was cringing the whole time while we filmed that episode... I could not believe what they were making me do.
The thing is that based on what the public got to see of me in those three episodes, fanfiction writers created a mental image of me that is nowhere near where it should be. I understand that, seeing how they like to torture 'their' characters it is only natural that they would focus on flaky Naomi rather than sensible Naomi... I agree that she allows for far more interesting scenarios for Blair's background but honestly, I'd really appreciate a little balance sometimes.
There's nothing left for me to do with my life but to take part in as many fanfics as the authors can think of. I am at their mercy as I was at the official writers' before, but sometimes I wish they'd see the whole picture and not just that final image the official writers left for them in the form of the show's last episode.
I may not have been a perfect mother but I did my best... and I think most fanfic writers would agree that Blair turned out fine in the end.
Author's note: okay, seeing how lately my fics have been a little heavy in the Naomi' bashing department I decided to try something different. No, I don't think Naomi was mother of the year material but I was getting a little too close to 'monster Naomi' for my liking, so this is my attempt to balance the scales.