Of Mountains and Mohammeds
Jim and I are sitting at our desks putting the finishing touches on the paperwork from our latest case and so far the day hasn't been all that remarkable... a fact that, come to think of it, is fairly remarkable considering our track record. The problem is that the paperwork in question is particularly dull, in fact it is so boring that I don't even have to worry about coming up with some way to cover for Jim's abilities and that means I have time to think... and lately that translates into me trying to figure out what to do about Naomi's revelation.
The fact that my brother works for the military has changed everything... no, it hasn't changed anything, not really, it just added a whole new set of questions, questions that are far more difficult to answer. Back when I first received my mother's letter I found myself struggling to come to a decision as to whether or not the man would rather have his illusions concerning his parents or an illegitimate half-brother, now I also have to question whether or not contacting him is an acceptable risk not only for myself but for Jim as well. There is so much I don't know about what he does, in fact these past few days have provided me with almost no answers and the only thing I'm absolutely, one hundred percent certain of is the fact that he most definitely doesn't work in anything remotely resembling deep space telemetry.
Whatever my brother is doing under that mountain is a mystery not even Kelso has been able to crack... and if the security I encountered when I tried to hack my way into their system is anything to go by then the truth is that I'm not entirely sure I want to know.
I shake my head as I realize that once more my thoughts have drifted to 'my brother'. That seems so strange in so many ways. First of all there's the fact that all my life I've been an only child so just coming to terms with the fact that he actually exists has been a major adjustment. The second thing is the fact that I keep thinking of him as 'my brother' or 'the/that man'... I still can't quite bring myself to think of him using his name. On a rational level I understand why I'm doing it, I know that as long as I don't think of him using his name he won't be entirely real and I don't think I'm ready to make him real... not while I'm still wondering what to do about any of this.
As long as he is not real I can accept the fact that in the end I may decide not to contact him, that in the end I may be forced to walk away from him without even telling him that I exist, but as soon as I start to think of him as a real person, as soon as I allow myself to humanize him by giving him a name, then facing the possibility of having to walk away from him will become that much more painful.
I'm suddenly brought back to the here and now by Jim's muttered 'Oh shit!' I look around and I can see nothing out of place so I start to work on trying to figure out just what it was that caused that exclamation. Hoping for a best case scenario I throw a quick glance at his screen... it's still working and it hasn't crashed. That means I can rule out culprit number one, unfortunately under the circumstances that is not necessarily a good thing because it means that the problem is to be found elsewhere. After that I take a look around the bullpen, carefully examining my surroundings, but there doesn't seem to be anything obviously wrong as far as I can tell. I run through my mental list almost automatically and I immediately rule out a zone-out --seeing how Jim would have been unable to speak if that had been the case-- and I also rule out any possible discomfort. As far as I can tell Jim is fine though he seems to be concentrating on hearing something... the elevator perhaps, and going by the look on his face I know that whatever it is it's not good so I try to brace myself for what is about to come.
I don't know what I was expecting to come out the moment the doors slid open, maybe I was expecting a serial killer covered in blood and holding a couple of hostages or something equally disturbing, but I certainly wasn't expecting the arrival of three seemingly normal people. I take a moment to study them, trying to identify what was it about them that caused my sentinel to react as he did.
The first one is a rather tall man with brown eyes and grey hair, he looks distinguished even in his casual clothes and something about his whole demeanor screams military. Next comes a blonde woman with short hair and legs up to... okay, I better drop that particular train of thought ASAP, it's taken me long enough to get Jim and the guys to stop teasing me about the table-leg. Anyway, something about the way in which she carries herself, the way she moves, catches my attention and I can see immediately that she's one lady on whose bad side I most definitely don't want to find myself. Judging by her company I would assume that she too is military. It is only when my eyes fall on the third person of that group that I realize what caused my partner's muttered exclamation. Even though I've never met the man that doesn't change the fact that I can recognize him right away and when I do I can't take my eyes off of him. I know him, I know who he is, I've seen his photo numerous times in these past few days as I've struggled to come to a decision about Naomi's little surprise.
I swallow hard because I know the man who just walked into the bullpen is my brother.