She was struggling, trying to hide her tears as she lowered the Garnet Orb, hiding her tears even though she knew it was pointless. In a matter of seconds all that surrounded her would cease to exist, everything would be gone, people, things, animals... none of them would ever be... none of them should have ever been.
It had all been her fault. She knew it, and she would never be able to forget.
The simple fact remained that she had betrayed her duty, but facts are never really that simple: how could she allow everyone she cared for, everyone she loved, to die when she had the power to prevent it? She knew she couldn't allow it to happen, not even on the line of duty, and she hadn't. What she did was unthinkable, not only did she stop the natural flow of time, but she even dared to reverse it... a sin she knew she should have paid for with her life... her life for theirs, a fair trade off... but it wasn't meant to be. Somehow she was forgiven, and allowed to live. At first she had felt so happy, she had been given a new life with her friends, and for a while everything seemed to be perfect. In time she came to justify her own actions, after all, she had been placed in an untenable position, on one hand she was the guardian of time, on the other she was a Sailor Senshi, one of the guardians of the Moon Kingdom, and as such she couldn't just watch as everything she was sworn to protect was destroyed before her eyes.
She remembered her joy as she attended the princess' wedding, it had been such a magnificent ceremony. Everyone was so happy, and why shouldn't they? After all they were alive, they were together. They couldn't possibly have known that they were all supposed to be long dead. She had felt so grateful for the opportunity to witness that wedding, for having a moment longer of not being alone, as she had been for most of eternity... as she would continue to be for all eternity.
Life was perfect, time passed, it went on until the name of the Silver Millennium became a misnomer, but as time went on she began to notice some minor details, things that weren't quite what they should have been. At first she dismissed them as unimportant, after all, she knew her actions had altered the future. Kings and queens came and went, the names and faces of the senshi changed, as they died and were replaced.
Then the Moon Kingdom split, with one kingdom becoming increasingly isolated on the moon, and with the new incarnation of the ancient Earth Kingdom, becoming independent once again and taking its rightful place among Earth's civilizations. It was a hard time as the senshi were forced to choose sides, but they remained true to their duty, and in spite of the pain of losing old friends they remained on the moon... all of them, that is, except for Sailor Earth, who was thus banished from their ranks. Even then she failed to notice how bad things really were, she believed that the Moon Kingdom could survive on its own. She was wrong.
What followed was a nightmare, but fortunately it didn't last long. In order to maintain the Moon's atmosphere the Ginzuishou used to draw a small amount of energy from each one of the moon's inhabitants, and when they found themselves reduced to a couple of hundred people it attempted to draw more energy from them than they could afford to give. The weakest began dying slow agonizing deaths that only increased the strain on the survivors as their number was reduced even further. Nothing could be done to prevent it, the Ginzuishou was killing them to maintain an atmosphere they couldn't live without. In a desperate attempt to survive they tried using most of the energy of the royal family and the senshi, and for a while it seemed to work, but as they grew weaker and began dying themselves they realized that it had been futile, for once the last member of the royal family died, there would be no one left to channel the energy of the remaining survivors to the Crystal, and so their fate would be sealed.
Somehow she resisted the temptation of reversing the flow of time once again. Immortal as she was, she was condemned to watch them suffer and die. And then her private hell began. She became a silent witness to the events that unfolded on Earth, a senshi without a kingdom to protect, and a guardian of time who had failed in her duty.
After millennia of peace under the rule of the Moon Kingdom she saw war, famine and disease. She saw new kingdoms rise and fall in what seemed to be the blink of an eye. She saw mankind turning against itself as wars raged in a quick succession. She saw greed, hatred and pain as she had never seen them before. She saw children murdering their parents and parents murdering their children as greed overcame everything. She saw nameless thousands die to build monuments so that one could be remembered... and she could do nothing but watch.
In spite of everything, sometimes they still managed to surprise her, to create things of beauty, but even the most magnificent monuments that they created had a dark side. The most beautiful poems told of death and destruction, the most beautiful temples depicted war scenes. War was everywhere. Everyone sought to conquer and they did so until they were conquered themselves, and then the cycle began anew, all for no reason other than a quest for power and greed that would go on forever, leaving nothing but a trail of meaningless devastation behind. They had been fighting for so long that they could no longer imagine doing anything else.
Sometimes she wondered if her old life in the Moon Kingdom had been nothing but a dream. It seemed so distant, so far removed from everything that surrounded her now. The world had been so thoroughly transformed. Luckily most of the magic seemed to have been forgotten, only the rituals remained, and that gave her hope. It meant that their ability to do harm was limited to whatever they could do with their own hands, but she knew it was only a matter of time before they found some way to replace their lost knowledge.
She saw what happened, what they did. She watched them for thousands of years. She saw massacres in the names of kings, of gods or for no other reason than greed itself. She was a witness to slavery and hatred. In time she almost managed to forget that they were the descendants of the Moon Kingdom. They had been killing each other for every conceivable excuse for so long that it hardly horrified her any more, but, no matter how trivial, there had always been an excuse. Be it their faith, their country, their future, they had always sought some sort of explanation for their actions... until now. She could not belive the insanity that surrounded her. A world in which murder was considered entertainment, where all that separated life and death was the move of a finger. They didn't even try to disguise it as a public execution anymore, where they comforted themselves with the notion that the penalty was supposed to fit the crime... as she now realized her punishment had fit hers.
It was the only thing she could do, and so, as she fought her tears, she lowered the Garnet Orb. She reversed time in order to allow Queen Metallia's forces to ravage the Moon Kingdom as they should have done so long ago.