I look at the world around me and, even when everything seems to be going nicely, I can’t help but to think of all the ways in which things can, and probably will, go wrong. No, I don’t consider myself to be a pessimist, but somehow we always seem to be living on the edge of something. Maybe it’s because change seems to be spinning out of control, because at times it feels like we can’t even catch our breaths before we find ourselves being shoved along in a direction that is no longer the one we thought we were going.
I know this doesn’t really make much sense. I’m not even sure what brought this about. I think it may have to do with that project that crept up on me a few days ago (it does feature a dystopian view of the future), but the thing is that all of a sudden I feel like we are in the middle of something, of a process that threatens to spin completely out of control.
Yes, I know the book I am planning, a book I may never even get to write, is a work of fiction, but at the same time, in order to be believable, it has to depict a world that I deem to be at least possible outcome of what I see around me. For it to work there has to be a path from here to there, and that is what makes bringing that world into being a slightly unsettling experience.
Yes, I know that doing that is part of the job description, and I won’t deny that there are some aspects of it that are a lot of fun, but the bottom line is that the world I am seeing is one in which I would most definitely not want to live… and yet at times it feels so near.